It's the end of the road

I just took the last 6 ounces of frozen breast milk out of the freezer. I am down to pumping only about 12 ounces a day, and it's dropping daily. It's the end of the road.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

On one hand, I am happy and relieved. I have no problems with formula (other than the smell...gross!). Mini Me was exclusively formula fed and is perfectly happy and healthy. Much healthier, in fact, than many breastfed babies I know. I will no longer have to worry about my supply, timing/limiting drinks so that I don't have to pump & dump, stressing over scheduling in time to pump, entertaining 2 children while I pump, etc. It's very freeing to be (almost) done. Besides, Sweet Pea is starting solids and we've made it through most of cold/flu season without any illnesses. And, since that was my main objective, I feel like I've achieved my goal (even though we haven't made it to the 6 month mark that I pre-determined.)

On the other hand, I'm heartbroken. All that guilt I've written about before? Yeah, it was nothing compared to what I feel at this moment. I can make enough milk to sustain my child, yet I've decided not to. I have worked so hard the past 5 months to feed her. And, I'm very proud of what I've done. And, I feel very blessed to have been able to. Part of my guilt comes from the fact that there are many women who would love to breastfeed, including some very dear friends, who are unable to for various reasons.

So, as I stood in the store yesterday, near tears as I picked up a canister of formula, I reminded myself that it may be the end of this road, but there are still millions of miles ahead of us.

Happy Birthday, Mini Me!!!

It is completely unreal. Mini Me turns 3 years old today! 3 years. So, in honor of my big girl, here's a trip down memory lane:


Birth Day







First Halloween


First Christmas



1 Year Old






First Haircut




Second Christmas







Second Birthday




Baseball!









Third Christmas



My Girls: Mini Me, 3 years and Sweet Pea, 5 months

She's a girl who knows what she wants

You know how when babies cry, you often wish they could talk so that they could just tell you what is wrong? And then, when they get to be Mini Me's age, they talk constantly and say things like, "why?" and "no" repeatedly...or come up with gems like, "I smell like bum" when getting undressed at the end of the day and you long for the days of the coo's and babble.

Anywho...last night was one of those nights in our house. After the above gem of a quote by Mini Me and the endless repetition of scenes from Tinkerbell, I was really lovin' my little Sweet Pea who was quietly coo'ing getting ready for bed. Then, daddy put her down. Then, the quiet ended.

Screams so loud that I am SURE dogs on the other side of town started howling. Sweet Pea just could not be consoled. No amount of binkie replacement, music from her seahorse or frog, lights on/lights off, nose cleaning, etc. would make this kid stop screaming. Pick her up, she was fine. Put her down, screams. So, naturally, I thought something must be terribly wrong. She really is a good sleeper for the most part. We put her down fully awake and besides the occasional help with replacing the binkie, she puts herself to sleep. This screaming was out of left field.

So, I try burping her. I give her Tylenol because I am convinced she must be in some kind of distress to scream so horribly for half an hour every time she is placed on her back. Nothing. In a last ditch effort, I carry her into her room to grab a diaper and change of clothes. As I turn to leave the room, she starts whimpering. I go back in, quiet. Go back out, whimpering.

Put her down in her crib...silence. Sleep. Instant.

Sweet Pea has been sleeping in her crib for naps for the past week or two since Mini Me usually doesn't nap anymore. But, at night, Sweet Pea sleeps in our room. But, clearly she prefers the crib. So, last night, for the first night in over 4 months, Sweet Pea slept in her crib, in the same room as Mini Me. She only woke up once, and thankfully, even though I know Mini Me was awake, she went right back to sleep.

And, Mommy and Daddy had the room all to themselves. But, wanna know a secret? Mommy kind of missed Sweet Pea. Shhhh, don't tell daddy.

We're not sure if this will last, but it was an interesting turn of events last night. Looks like Sweet Pea is going to be another stubborn chatterbox...just like her sister.

Tripods...they're not just for camera's anymore.

Check out what I can do:

It's a rare delicacy.

Giraffe feet. Oh, so yummy!


Tastes just like chicken.

You know those shrunken heads...

Well, apparently, my kid has one.

Sweet Pea's 4 month appointment was today. (Can you believe it? 4 months already!)

Here are her stats:

Weight: 12 pounds 6oz

Length: 25 1/8 inches

That puts here right around the 20th percentile for weight, 75th for height.

Then comes her head circumference.... She's in the 6th percentile for that. Not 60, not 16...just 6.

Peanut head.

The doctor is happy with her progress and gave us the go ahead to start solids whenever we feel that she is ready.

I am also very happy to report that it seems as if this situation (and possibly other similar situations from the sounds of it) has resulted in some change of procedure at the office.

When the nurse first took us into the exam room and was doing the measurements and standard questions, she reviewed the vaccination record in their computer system and discussed with me which vaccinations Sweet Pea was due for.

When the doctor came in, she reviewed the record in the system and reviewed with me which ones she was due for. Then, when the nurse brought the needles into the room, the nurse and doctor both reviewed the record together and verbally confirmed each shot with what was in the tray. It was reminiscent of the medication checks that I'm accustomed to from my former career.

While I'm still annoyed that she got the extra shot, I'm glad that they have responded by making some changes to protect kids from future errors.

Scratch Historian Off the List

You may remember this post, where we established that Mini Me didn't seemed destined to be a political junkie.

Well, we can scratch Historian off the list as well.

This weekend, Daddy was watching the History Channel and Mini Me heard them talking about Kings, Mayan Kings to be exact. What did she do?

Roar'ed at the TV. Yup, the only Kings allowed in our house: The Lion King.